How many times have you made an impulsive decision, without really thinking it through? Or perhaps someone talked you into something that you knew in your heart you didn’t really want to do – and once you took a little space from that person or situation, and cleared your head a bit, realized you had made a mistake?
Do you just go along with it, if it’s not where you really want to be, what you really want to do, and not where you even want to focus your energy?
That’s what most people do – just go along with it, while living a lie and becoming more and more stressed out, pissed off and resentful at themselves and everyone involved, because they are terrified of saying these four simple words: “I’ve Changed My Mind.”
Simple – but not easy.
There are a lot of things to consider when we change our minds. There are situations where if we are spiritually and emotionally mature, and a person of integrity, we don’t get to change our minds just because we’ve grown bored with our new toy, or we’re too tired because we stayed up all night on the internet, or just “don’t feel like it.”
There are times when we have to just suck it up and do what’s right. And when it is indeed right, it never fails that the Universe will give us positive feedback in an obvious way, and we will be grateful that we put on our “big girl/boy pants” and did what we made a commitment to do.
But what about those other times when we’ve said yes to things that are not in alignment with our deepest desires, core values or our passion?
In the past, I found myself saying “yes” before I even had a chance to think about what I was saying yes to – I just wanted to say yes to everything and everybody. But I found that not only was I exhausting myself, and expending my precious energy and time with people I didn’t want to be with, projects I had no passion for, and situations I didn’t want to be in, but I was also getting more and more resentful at myself and everyone involved, because in those situations, I was not standing in my truth.
Nothing can piss a person off more than not living in their truth.
I remember that at that particular time in my life, that the thought of telling someone no, or that I had changed mind, literally sent me into an anxiety attack with my gut in knots and my heart pounding through my chest.
We are so afraid of disappointing someone or letting them down. We’re afraid that they will get mad at us, or not approve of us. We are afraid that if we tell the truth about changing our minds, that we will be rejected and abandoned. In some situations, we might even be afraid of being fired, or missing out on a career opportunity.
There are times when we might be suffering from a core debilitating belief that we are somehow bad, awful or terrible people because we don’t want to do what others expect us to do.
Then there’s that co-dependency angle, where we arrogantly believe that if we change our minds or say no, the other person or people involved will not survive and WILL DIE because we are their savior! This is SO NOT TRUE – but it feels true.
I believe the following is what’s really true:
- It’s safe for you to admit that you’ve made a mistake or have misjudged a situation, and have now changed your mind.
- Changing your mind doesn’t make you a bad person, but a person who is thoughtful, clear and willing to admit that you hadn’t thought things through thoroughly when you initially made the decision.
- It’s totally cool for you to re-think a situation and realize it’s not the best use of your time and energy right now.
- Circumstances have changed, and based on those changes, you choose to go in another direction.
- The person or situation that you made a commitment to has drastically changed, and not the person or situation that you based your decision on – it’s okay for you to change your mind.
- It’s not the end of the world if someone is disappointed in you. WHAT???? I know, that’s a big one – but it’s really not the end of the world. They, like you have their spiritual journey, and contrary to what you might believe, you are NOT their source. Oh, and by the way, they will be okay!
- It’s okay if someone gets MAD at you. Your value and worth is not dependent upon their approval.
I gotta tell you, I have never felt so bad-assed in my life, until I became ready for the Universe to heal my fear of telling someone no, not now, I’ll think about it, or “I’ve Changed My Mind.” What an empowering, and self-loving place to come from.
You are worthy of empowerment and clarity in your life. You are not only deserving of making clear decisions that are in alignment with your truth, this is God’s will for you. You cannot shine your brilliant light, while living a lie in an effort to please others. I know this for you, and I stand in this powerful truth for you.
I have the right to reverse the decisions I have made from fear and limitation, to decisions from a place of self-love, integrity, empowerment, confidence and clarity. It is my God-given birthright to stand in the truth of my soul. This truth cannot cause harm, because in the mind of God, everybody wins. I release responsibility for the feelings of others, and know that just as I am an expression of an all-loving Universe, everyone is divinely protected, loved and guided to divine right and perfect action. This is God’s job, not mine. I surrender to my truth. It’s safe to stand in my truth. Amen
Beloved tribe, if this is the perfect time for you to dive in and heal at a level you’ve never gone before, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Let’s set up some free time together on the phone to discover where you are now, and where you want to go. I’d love to support you.
“For the very first time I know that I’m in the process of 100% healing my addictions to limiting beliefs, unworthiness and anxiety (which when it comes back I know how to release it), something in all my years working with other healers I didn’t know how to do.” – Keyia (New York)