I Found God in the Midst of Hell

Here’s the thing, it is almost impossible to be in the midst of a crises, drama or tragedy and tap into peace, love, freedom and safety at the same time. If you’re alive, this applies to all of us. We get caught in a situation and have absolutely no place to go other than to our familiar emotional set point, and then once we get in that place—without a different set of tools—it’s almost impossible to get out.

It’s just like if you don’t make regular deposits in your bank account, when the emergency hits, you have nothing to draw from. That’s a funky and hard place to be, right?

The same thing applies to your spiritual and emotional accounts. If you have not made consistent and positive deposits, when the trigger comes (and it will), when the drama hits (and it will), or when you face an unexpected emergency (and you will), you will have nothing to draw from and no place to go, but to your familiar thought and behavior patterns—which will net you the same results you’re already suffering from!

And it’s costing you… a lot.

The good news is that when we are consistent with our emotional and spiritual deposits, the moment you need to put these tools into practice, they are effortless and automatic. We know exactly what to do and where to go!!

How self-empowering is that?

On a personal note, it’s pretty cool to know that you have the power to positively navigate any experience (even the emotional meltdown). In fact, the emotional meltdown is oftentimes a part of the process to healing – it reveals a lot of great information that can assist you forward. But you don’t want to pull over and park in the meltdown itself!

So when all the little wounded children came out at my family gathering, I went to the bathroom and made a withdrawal from my spiritual and emotional accounts, and because I had made consistent deposits, I had something to draw from.

Before I share with you the tools that I used to experience God in the midst of hell, I want to acknowledge how hard it is to turn the other cheek when you’ve been offended, how the wall of anxiety feels like a block of ice covering your entire body, and the sound of bees buzzing in your head when you’ve been triggered. I know and I understand.

But there’s a way out, I promise you.

Here’s what I did in the midst of my storm:

  1. I allowed myself to be real with my emotional reaction. I gave my little girl a safe and private space to verbalize her pain, fear and confusion.
  2. I tapped and I tapped, until I got completely in touch with where the pain was coming from, and what the pain was about
  3. And then I turned to EFT (tapping), the 12 Steps, affirmative prayer, surrounded myself in a vibration of pure light and love, and hung out with my higher power before I returned to the gathering.

Here are five strategies you can use to prepare for and manage the storm:

  1. Don’t wait until a crisis hits to make a withdrawal from your empty spiritual and emotional account. Start making regular deposits now!
  2. When you are triggered, go to your car, another room (the bathroom – my favorite, LOL) so that you can safely do your work.
  3. Be with where you actually are emotionally. Have your meltdown. Let your inner child speak using your EFT(tapping tools) until you feel a shift.
  4. Turn everything (the situation, your family, friends, finances, your emotions and your very life) over the care of the Higher Power within that loves you more than you will ever know.
  5. Use the first three steps of recovery. This short process will support you in remembering who you are.
  6. Be willing to straighten out and clean up the part you may have played in this situation, and then remember that you are whole, complete and safe. Take some moments of quiet and be still.

It is so very important to have the tools of recovery and rediscovery at your fingertips in order to bring peace to disharmony, to be an expression of love and forgiveness where there appears to be hate and fear, and to stand in your spiritual bad-assness, when you might ordinarily crumble. But in order to do that, you’ve got to make regular deposits in your account.

Luck is defined as opportunity meeting preparedness.

Be lucky.

I believe in you. You are safe.

Email me at ester@esternicholson.com for a twenty minute discovery session on how to transform your emotional hell into your birthright of emotional heaven.

I’m here for you.

Love you,


9 thoughts on “I Found God in the Midst of Hell

  1. It totally works and because I promised my mother I would stay close to my sisters and brothers I’m the oldest I’m currently interacting with my nieces and my sister scared and I’m free I remember when they were my life now they are just a part of my life im anchored in Al-Anon and the spiritual keys of Soul recovery


  2. Hello Ester I enjoyed your real ness when you came to unity. I can relate to everything you are sharing. I was inspired to hear you share your experience because I’ve been there. After 40 years of suffering in my own past stories I made up in my head, it took a tragic experience to shift my old unhealthy thinking. Today I can attend family functions, everyone is pretty much the same (insensitive) and I can see who they are and accept the fact that they are not perfect and they have no idea how to deal with me where I am at. Today I had a thought, maybe they think I think I’m perfect. And maybe that’s why they can not ever acknowledge me. I kept my trauma to myself for 40 yrs. I imagined none of my siblings would ever play with me. Maybe the truth is I did not believe they would play with me. Maybe I never tried. Maybe I just went to my room and cried when ever I imagined no one would play with me. Maybe They thought I was too good to play with them. What ever the case, they now know the truth that I was traumatized and they still are insensitive. (Lol) all I can do is love them right where they are as I do the same for me.


    1. Bonnie, I think you’re absolutely right – they think that you think you’re perfect. Look at how their illusions and ours keep us separate and disconnected. It is so healing to finally accept that “I understand that they don’t understand – and my emotional freedom is not contingent upon them understanding. I understand that I don’t get them, and my love for them isn’t contingent upon my getting them”. Thank you for sharing. We’re all in this together, growing and healing – one day at a time!


  3. Hello Esther, I received an email from She Recovers about signing up for your podcast about trauma on June 25 which is today but when I click to register I get a page from Zoom saying that I have lost my way meaning there is a problem. I am reaching out to you because I don’t know how the issue can be fix. Thank you!


    1. Yvonne, I am so sorry that i am just now seeing your message. Please feel free to sign up for my newsletters at ester mail.com which will inform you of classes, groups, podcasts, videos and everything I teach on healing trauma. If you ever need a private session, email me at ester@esternicholson.com



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